Smile

Happiness is the state of mind.... was watching "Kal ho na ho" yesternite..... der was one very interesting scene when everyone's feedback was shared as to when "Preity was last seen happy and smiling smiling" and yes! Everyone was clueless......

The same may not be applied to me..... but yes, most of the times I am happy and smiling smiling... yet the doubts and frustrations do not vanish so easily.....

Imagine a women..... beautiful women...... Long hair, sweet lips and a bright face with the cutest smile.....Now now now what is the reason behind it? I mean why the smile...... loads of theories maybe associated with it...... Maybe she is happy seeing her new born child, or maybe she is happy getting the sparkling care she always wished to have.......

You know a women is happy when someone cares for her.... when there is someone who listens to her attentively..... Was watching a "Teleshow" sometime back- where the Female lead is all smiles and happy coz the Handsome Doctor was all ears for her...... He poked her for more words...... more conversation...... All throughout he was listening to her attentively and empathizing with her whenever needed..... and Gosh! you should have seen her reaction and smile when she was narrating to her friends about it....... "I Felt so Important.... He was actually listening to me."

The teen girl smiles when her Dad brings the fexy Tee and shorts she always admired.....

Women in general love flowers, ice creams, chocolates, candle light and soft toys and yes though not in the same order but surely the mor pink involved the better..... hence you wanna see the smile on your Gfs face and you are confused.....--- "Buy those Red Roses and dark cream chocolates and there goes the bright smile...."

Girls/Women giggle a lot and the reason behind it is humour.....You have a sense of humour.... you will surely see an instant smile... Read those "Khushwant Singh Joke Books" and memorize few of them...... Promise the smile wont fade.....

Admiration/Attentiveness/Empathy/Homour/Chocolates/Pink are few things which make the women smile........

More on dat later.... till them "Keep Smiling!"

My Friend

"He came in my life.... when things hardly made any sense..... yes! Brain Damage... the Ass in me was Groping and Jumping in me like never before....."

A simple note for him:-

"You make me smile.... you thoughts help me live.....

When tears come I recall the words you spoke..... when I have a tuff day and things dont go the way it should --- I remember it all what you told"

-> Cant forget the longest days .... cant forget the longest nights..... cant forget the things we shared.... the longest conversations.... the longest drive......

You are the friend and will always be .... come what may "I will never say Goodbye"

It was so cool to talk to you.... it was so beautiful to be with you.....

with you the conversations/talks never came to an end..... with you the time hardly made any sense.......

The songs I listened with you are so dear to me..... you know dear! I still hum them whenever I am free......

Want to be with you now and always...... hope the things keep on happening and we survive each Tsunami with a smile..... holding your hand... being by your side.......

You mean a lot to me..... Love you!

Blood

Brain Damage......

My brains damaged..... it hurts like never before......

someone hammered it maybe..... someone still knowing it all and still hammering it..... "dimag ke nus"

Hate dumb people and then I realize I am the dumbest of them all.....

They knew I was hurt..... they knew it will happen... they knew it all.....

I am the fool... I am the Ass...... (hey! why self pity boosts my ego... :)....)

I keep repeating the words.... "I am an Ass..... yes! A Big Fat Ass"

My brain's damaged the day I knew I was born...... and it is soooo damn difficult to live with a damage brain...... Some days you hate everyone and some days you feel as if you should love and kiss everyone......

I had a friend who always used to say "Geek! Plz stop your self pity drama......" and move on in life.... move on!!! move on!! move on!! Kaiseen yaar???

How will i be able to move on? I am so stuck..... I am glued.... the moments dont leave me.... they dont make peace anywhere these days..... and then I feel bahut ho gaya self pity get going now..... Move on!!

Nways I love the ad of Fasttrack "Move on!" Achhha hain...... but so difficult to move on in real life...... maybe I am too much deep down....

You know it happened like this.... there was this road and everyone told me "Geek! try that road it has a hole and you will fall...... Learn from the experience of others..... See! Sohan... See! Mohan... they all have fallen and rite now have broken ribs... broken arms and broken teeths... yeah! they cant even smile.... Dont go dear!!!"

But I was so adamant...... I was like "Horse Sh*t! I will go.... I have chosen the road and surely I will go..... I mean that is my destiny..... I have to go by that Road...... I understand Sohan and Mohan situation..... but let me try! let me experience it..... and here I go......"

So I took the Road less travelled and BOOM! here I am deep down..... "Deep wala mara God ne!" Still can't come to normal terms..... Still feel so let down... still feel so low.... still feel so numb......

No doubt! I am ---- Brain Damage!

Same Thoughts

Why do the same thoughts come again and again....

why I do the feeling never subside..... why you are here and then there....

why do tears wet the pillow... why sleep grooms me and then I feel as if I am numb....

Why do the words come and then they dont.... why for God sake I feel the way i feel.....

Never in my life I thought I will be the one I am..... the roller coaster ride of (life) will make me crazy.....

"Why do shit happen?" and "Why I dont feel good?"

When I am alone the thoughts haunt me and scare me to death... when I am with someone... the things still make me fear..... Oh! God help me save my soul cause the "Same Thoughts" dont make me move.... dont let me be......

Master Piece

Master Piece...
I wanted to be humble... wanted to be modest... but then why should I?

Master Piece are created JLT (Just like that), hence let the things be.....

Was in my regular life.... cursing, bitching, being fustrated, greedy, and jealous and all and then I thought why not pour all of it to the MS word Doc and upload it in the internet.... Maybe the steps would not be easy, it would be difficult... but then I will have an outlet... a pipeline to share my thoughts, my dealings with life, my feelings with the mind/brain/heart/ soul... and here I am...... Writing... oopppss Typing my good things and bad things... the experiences I go through and the experiences life wants me to fall into........................

This "Master Piece" would not be possible without the help/love/support and care of my friends and family and of course my"whatever time it is..Clock and Attitude." It would also not have been possible without the typing skills that I have and the old, dusty yet faithful keyboard... and yes the free sipss of coffee/tea..... geeeee..... hence a "HUGE" tx to all of this and more......

Praying to Lord God that "Hey! Jesus BaBa.... plz mere pukaar sun lo and plzz help me that I am regular with my typing skills and that Bad things..... also Good things happen to me on a regular basis.... so that I have enuff to pour/ enuff to vomit in my new virtual estate.....

The plan is clear.......... "I will type"

Hearts of hearts I was always inspired when I used to read blogs of people in and around the virtual world.... few have started bloggin times when I was just a toddler in the internet world... I mean when I used to have the longest smile seeing E-Cards and sending and receiving all of those gave me a high... few people where blogging like maniacs... (kya bol raheen ho? Such Main???) Guys world is moving at a rapid pace.... Hence you will be enjoying life... being your lazy self and "few good people" will be ---Out there landing in the moon and you will be bidding then bye bye from deep down earth..... --- GET Going Guys........do something....